sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
