I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
4 words: hood of his car
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
