So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
