Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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