she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
