The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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