her vagine was all disorganized.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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