My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you win again, gameday.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
