Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
