If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My penis needs a shock collar
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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