First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
