I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
