My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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