Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
