She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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