Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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