I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
wow bdsm is so cute
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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