that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
