Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize