i just google imaged poop.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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