I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
