bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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