some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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