i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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