its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
