No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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