I can't watch pbs sober anymore
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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