he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
