Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
