Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
