Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
