Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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