we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
