Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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