i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
