Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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