You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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