Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
