No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We need a shit load of segways right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
