So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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