Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
