My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My penis needs a shock collar
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
