I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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