are you so shy because you have an std?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
