Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
