Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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