Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
