Porn is love you can see.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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