Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
