So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
