I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You are a genius and a whore.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
