1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
