I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
