If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
