Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
