Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
