No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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