Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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